My ADHD: Hyper-Focusing & Writing

I had a wonderful, long overdue chat with an old friend of mine tonight. I’ve known Mitchell since Grade 7. Growing up, we were into all the same stuff: wrestling, comics, tabletop RPGs, video games. We used to talk more often, but you know how it happens when adult crap gets in the way. He’s doing well for himself now: living in the U.K., working for a mobile game designer, has a daughter. All good stuff. Between work (for both of us), a kid, the time difference, and life in general, it’s hard to chat with him like we used to. But I’m grateful for any time we can.

I’ve sometimes considered Mitchell my muse. We have different ways in our creative style and approach, but I think because of that, he’s also a great person to bounce ideas off with. He rarely shoots anything down, but as someone who studied improv comedy, he takes any ideas, accepts it, and rolls with it. He asks me questions on the hows and whys of idea. He never offers huge ideas for me to “steal,” but coaxes ideas out of me like a bourbon-fueled Socrates.

Tonight, we shared our mutual struggles with ADHD. We talked about how ADHD is both a gift and a curse for creative people. With some forms of ADHD, there’s the concept of hyper-focus, where you can shut off everything else around you and narrowly focus on what’s in front of you.

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Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. – Video Essay (Series Consideration)

The next episode of Series Consideration is up! Watch it, like it, comment on it, share it, discuss it. Whatever you please!

And as usual, the text for the essay itself is behind the cut for your reading pleasure.

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Avengers: ENDgame – A.k.a.: My First Comic Collaboration

ENDgame panel

Preview panel of the full comic!

Back in March, I was chatting with my friend Alan about the upcoming Avengers: Endgame. As conversations can go sometimes, we got silly. I suddenly threw out the idea of taking the scene with Hawkeye and Ant-Man in Captain America: Civil War…only shooting him at Thanos’ butt. Kind of a parody of Green Arrow shooting The Atom at Darkseid. Though in that case, The Atom shrunk inside Darkseid’s brain.

Anyway, I couldn’t let go of the idea and suddenly, the image of a one-page comic popped in my head. Without second guessing myself, I messaged Sam Owen, who I discovered on Twitter, though I can’t remember how.

Turns out, he was game for the idea.

See, I’ve always wanted to write comics. But it’s notoriously difficult to get into the business if you can’t also draw. Even for artists, it’s not easy. It also doesn’t help that I could never afford an artist. But with my current job, I’ve had some disposable income, so I could finally pay an artist, even if it was for a really dumb, one-page idea.

Funnily enough, I didn’t know about the “Ant-Man goes up Thanos’ bum” meme until AFTER I sent the first payment to Sam. My friend Alan pointed it out to me. And honestly, I got a little frustrated and depressed because I thought it was a funny, original idea. It figures the internet had already come up with the idea.

Still, I really like how this turned out. Sam and I batted ideas around on the panel compositions. He sent me a couple of rough breakdowns before we agreed on a finalized product.

And I can finally say I wrote a comic! Just today, I went to Staples and printed out a copy of the page, framed it, and hung it on my wall. Screw it. Overplayed meme or not, it’s funny.

Plus, I recently discovered a comic book anthology that’s looking for writers and artists. Even better, the writer can pitch something and they’ll pair you with an artist. I’m already putting something together for that.


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Why I’ve Almost Given up Writing

broken-pencil-1Believe me, I’m aware of the staggering irony in that headline.

Here’s Nick, writing about not writing.
Here’s Nick, intending to post it on his blog intended to promote his writing.
Here’s Nick, writing this on his 6+ year old netbook, sitting in my local Starbucks; the two staples of my writing “career” for over half a decade.

It’s been almost two years since I wrote anything substantial. I’ve said many times that I considered giving up – or already gave up – on writing. I don’t know what happened. Maybe writing this out will help me figure it out. So, let’s go on a journey into my fractured mind.

Because I feel like a failure as a writer.

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The Death of Superman (Video Essay) – Series Consideration

I finally finished and published the next video essay in my series, Series Consideration. I just realized that when I had my friend take that photo, I was still rocking the bald for the summer.

Anyway, as usual, here’s the written essay I used for the video’s narration. Enjoy!

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I Am Here – Of Depression, Yoga, Meditation, and Profound Epiphanies

Big Smile

June 22, 2018

I’ve made it no secret on here, on social media, or privately among friends, that I’ve struggled with depression most of my life. I was diagnosed with situational depression when I was 18, then re-diagnosed with bi-polar II and ADD only a few years ago. I’ve struggled with multiple suicide attempts. Two major ones were February 27, 2000, and this past New Years. I’ve struggled to find joy in things I once loved: pro-wrestling, comics, exercise, yoga, etc. I felt like a burden on everyone around me. I’d lost hope of a future for myself.

Feeling like an unaccomplished loser was my breaking point last New Years. Turning 40 this year didn’t help matters, either. Any time I made any headway in recovering, something pulled me back down. Even though I continued attending the yoga teacher training at Therapeutic Approach Yoga Studio (TAYS), I still couldn’t get my hopes up on anything. I hadn’t been doing my homework and as the final weekend loomed, I hadn’t done any practice teaching of my own. I dreaded teaching the final practical class. My friend and classmate Alesia helped me put together a great sequence. So that upcoming Friday still caused anxiety, but not quite as much.

However, something more interesting happened that same Friday, June 22, 2018.

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Locke & Key – Series Consideration

I’ve greatly neglected this blog. I can’t guarantee that’ll change, but I’ll try.

In the meantime, I released the second installment of my video essay series, Series Consideration. This time, I’m covering LOCKE & KEY, by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez.

Like last time, I’ll leave the full essay behind a page cut for those interested.

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The Sculptor – Series Consideration

Welp, here we go!

The debut episode of Series Consideration, a video essay series where I study and discuss graphic novels and completed comic book runs.

This episode, I look at Scott McCloud’s THE SCULPTOR.

And don’t forget to see the end of the video where you can vote for which book or series I cover next!

And for those interested, here’s the full text of the essay that I wrote for the episode.

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Why I Attempted Suicide

Suicide New YearsThis past New Years, I had the first major mental breakdown in a long time. I’d certainly struggled many times throughout my life. Most certainly in the recent years. But something about that night really struck me. Why? It stemmed from seeing social media; people reminiscing about 2017. A common meme that night was things people did or accomplished that year. And it got me thinking: what did I accomplish in 2017? My conclusion? Nothing.

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10 Things I’d Do If I Ran DC or Marvel Comics

Welp, I’m branching out a little, kiddies. The Casual Geekery invited me to write articles for them.

For my first article, it’s a 2-parter called 10 Things I’d Do If I Ran DC or Marvel Comics. Here’s Part One. And here’s Part Two.

And hoo boy, comic book nerds will want my head on a pike when they’re done with this.

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