I Am Here – Of Depression, Yoga, Meditation, and Profound Epiphanies

Big Smile

June 22, 2018

I’ve made it no secret on here, on social media, or privately among friends, that I’ve struggled with depression most of my life. I was diagnosed with situational depression when I was 18, then re-diagnosed with bi-polar II and ADD only a few years ago. I’ve struggled with multiple suicide attempts. Two major ones were February 27, 2000, and this past New Years. I’ve struggled to find joy in things I once loved: pro-wrestling, comics, exercise, yoga, etc. I felt like a burden on everyone around me. I’d lost hope of a future for myself.

Fearing turning 40-years-old and feeling like an unaccomplished loser was my breaking point last New Years. Turning 40 this year didn’t help matters, either. Any time I made any headway in recovering, something pulled me back down. Even though I continued attending the yoga teacher training at Therapeutic Approach Yoga Studio (TAYS), I still couldn’t get my hopes up on anything. I hadn’t been doing my homework and as the final weekend loomed, I hadn’t done any practice teaching of my own. I dreaded teaching the final practical class. My friend and classmate Alesia helped me put together a great sequence. So that upcoming Friday still caused anxiety, but not quite as much.

However, something more interesting happened that same Friday, June 22, 2018.

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Locke & Key – Series Consideration

I’ve greatly neglected this blog. I can’t guarantee that’ll change, but I’ll try.

In the meantime, I released the second installment of my video essay series, Series Consideration. This time, I’m covering LOCKE & KEY, by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez.

Like last time, I’ll leave the full essay behind a page cut for those interested.

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The Sculptor – Series Consideration

Welp, here we go!

The debut episode of Series Consideration, a video essay series where I study and discuss graphic novels and completed comic book runs.

This episode, I look at Scott McCloud’s THE SCULPTOR.

And don’t forget to see the end of the video where you can vote for which book or series I cover next!

And for those interested, here’s the full text of the essay that I wrote for the episode.

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Why I Attempted Suicide

Suicide New YearsThis past New Years, I had the first major mental breakdown in a long time. I’d certainly struggled many times throughout my life. Most certainly in the recent years. But something about that night really struck me. Why? It stemmed from seeing social media; people reminiscing about 2017. A common meme that night was things people did or accomplished that year. And it got me thinking: what did I accomplish in 2017? My conclusion? Nothing.

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10 Things I’d Do If I Ran DC or Marvel Comics

Welp, I’m branching out a little, kiddies. The Casual Geekery invited me to write articles for them.

For my first article, it’s a 2-parter called 10 Things I’d Do If I Ran DC or Marvel Comics. Here’s Part One. And here’s Part Two.

And hoo boy, comic book nerds will want my head on a pike when they’re done with this.

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A Letter to Save John Muise

dsc_0312-cmykOne of my best friends recently told me that John Muise – long-time instructor at St. Thomas University – is not returning to teach next year. St. Thomas University is not renewing his contract. For me, and for everything John has done for me, this is absolutely heartbreaking. I firmly believe that STU is making a mistake.

I just finished writing a long letter to them. In the hopes of reaching more people, I’m posting the letter here, as well. Plus, it serves to show just how much of a major influence John has been on my writing.

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Why I’m Not a Big Spider-Man Fan

Spider-Man Shooting WebBefore that title gets webheads all strung up, let me be clear: I like Spider-Man. I own some of his comics. Not many, but some. I liked the movies, but I didn’t go crazy for even Sam Raimi ones like others did. I don’t think the old 90s Spider-Man cartoon holds up in retrospect (I didn’t think it was great to begin with). And as a good gamer, I’ve enjoyed some of his games like Spider-Man 2 and Shattered Dimensions. I’ve known for years that while I like Spidey, I wouldn’t rank him high in my list of favourite superheroes. In fact, I don’t think he’d even make it into the top 20.

Recently, though, I realized why he’s not one of my favourites. And I think it boils down to when I started reading comics and what story started around that time: the infamous CLONE SAGA.

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