Why I’ve Almost Given up Writing

broken-pencil-1Believe me, I’m aware of the staggering irony in that headline.

Here’s Nick, writing about not writing.
Here’s Nick, intending to post it on his blog intended to promote his writing.
Here’s Nick, writing this on his 6+ year old netbook, sitting in my local Starbucks; the two staples of my writing “career” for over half a decade.

It’s been almost two years since I wrote anything substantial. I’ve said many times that I considered giving up – or already gave up – on writing. I don’t know what happened. Maybe writing this out will help me figure it out. So, let’s go on a journey into my fractured mind.

Because I feel like a failure as a writer.

Continue reading

Posted in Depression & Mental Issues, Writing | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

The Death of Superman (Video Essay) – Series Consideration

I finally finished and published the next video essay in my series, Series Consideration. I just realized that when I had my friend take that photo, I was still rocking the bald for the summer.

Anyway, as usual, here’s the written essay I used for the video’s narration. Enjoy!

Continue reading

Posted in Comic Books, Series Consideration, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Am Here – Of Depression, Yoga, Meditation, and Profound Epiphanies

Big Smile

June 22, 2018

I’ve made it no secret on here, on social media, or privately among friends, that I’ve struggled with depression most of my life. I was diagnosed with situational depression when I was 18, then re-diagnosed with bi-polar II and ADD only a few years ago. I’ve struggled with multiple suicide attempts. Two major ones were February 27, 2000, and this past New Years. I’ve struggled to find joy in things I once loved: pro-wrestling, comics, exercise, yoga, etc. I felt like a burden on everyone around me. I’d lost hope of a future for myself.

Fearing turning 40-years-old and feeling like an unaccomplished loser was my breaking point last New Years. Turning 40 this year didn’t help matters, either. Any time I made any headway in recovering, something pulled me back down. Even though I continued attending the yoga teacher training at Therapeutic Approach Yoga Studio (TAYS), I still couldn’t get my hopes up on anything. I hadn’t been doing my homework and as the final weekend loomed, I hadn’t done any practice teaching of my own. I dreaded teaching the final practical class. My friend and classmate Alesia helped me put together a great sequence. So that upcoming Friday still caused anxiety, but not quite as much.

However, something more interesting happened that same Friday, June 22, 2018.

Continue reading

Posted in Depression & Mental Issues, Life Stuff, Yoga | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Locke & Key – Series Consideration

I’ve greatly neglected this blog. I can’t guarantee that’ll change, but I’ll try.

In the meantime, I released the second installment of my video essay series, Series Consideration. This time, I’m covering LOCKE & KEY, by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez.

Like last time, I’ll leave the full essay behind a page cut for those interested.

Continue reading

Posted in Comic Books, Essays, Series Consideration | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Sculptor – Series Consideration

Welp, here we go!

The debut episode of Series Consideration, a video essay series where I study and discuss graphic novels and completed comic book runs.

This episode, I look at Scott McCloud’s THE SCULPTOR.

And don’t forget to see the end of the video where you can vote for which book or series I cover next!

And for those interested, here’s the full text of the essay that I wrote for the episode.

Continue reading

Video | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why I Attempted Suicide

Suicide New YearsThis past New Years, I had the first major mental breakdown in a long time. I’d certainly struggled many times throughout my life. Most certainly in the recent years. But something about that night really struck me. Why? It stemmed from seeing social media; people reminiscing about 2017. A common meme that night was things people did or accomplished that year. And it got me thinking: what did I accomplish in 2017? My conclusion? Nothing.

Continue reading

Posted in Depression & Mental Issues | Tagged , | 7 Comments

10 Things I’d Do If I Ran DC or Marvel Comics

Welp, I’m branching out a little, kiddies. The Casual Geekery invited me to write articles for them.

For my first article, it’s a 2-parter called 10 Things I’d Do If I Ran DC or Marvel Comics. Here’s Part One. And here’s Part Two.

And hoo boy, comic book nerds will want my head on a pike when they’re done with this.

Posted in Comic Books, Essays, Top Ten Tuesday, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment